SELFIBABA SCENARIO

BY SHRIDHAR TILVE

DEDICATED TO SANMATI SACHIN PRIYA PARKAR

A NEW FAMILY MEMBER IN OUR FAMILY

WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION

FROM MAMOBA

SCENE NO .1

He looked at sky. The sky was cloud clear. He looked at water. The water was pure. The bliss of purity & clarity stroked his body. The bliss-stoke. It vitalized all his  bones. Bliss continued for 5 minutes.

“Everything is meditation”

The thought stroked and destroyed everything. He returned to the world.

 “Alas! An interruption of human being inside me”.

It was happening frequently for last 4 years.

“How to kill this fucking human being HIDDEN IN ME ?”.

For Flash of second he got angry to himself. In anger he jumped into the water.

 ''Swimming! Man was swimmer first then runner and now competitor.  People have forgotten  the art of swimming. O God these people once again entered into my brain”

He was floating for 2 hour and people were swimming inside his brain. He realized that floating is not working. He came out of water.

SCENE NO .2

There was no towel in his cave. He stood in front of Sun. For him the sun was the towel. Rays dried his brown shining body. He was nude. His body started walking.

SCENE NO .3

When he returned to cave as usual nobody was there. Last 14 years he was doing Tapscharya in Shivalayan caves in HIMALAYA built around 14000 BC. His small and thin body was meditating in  magnificent Himalaya but enlightenment was not happening.

He spread his wyaghracharm , placed his bronze kamandlu near the stone.

“Something is missing. What it is? Why people enters into my brain? Is it time? Does time brings people in my brain? If it's so then I must threw the time away from my body”

 He looked at his watch. The watch was shining like sun.

 ''Sun disk!''.

He dehanded  the wristwatch and came outside at the edge of his cave and threw the watch. His precious wrist watch was getting down in front of his eyes.

Where it is going ? From Himalaya to Indian people?

He was quiet amused by thought.

 Forget people and focus on your enlightenment . 

He sat on his wyaghracharm in Padmasan and tried to become timeless. The rested wristwatch stopped working on the Himalayan Ice. Time was iced and slices of it disappeared.

SCENE NO . 4

Sudhnwa Sharma watched  alarm in tablet  screaming in his ears. He was living in rental flat in Lokhandwala  Andheri west . It was 9 ‘o’ clock.

Time to wake up Sudhanshu. Wake up lazy bastard !

He touched icon , made it off , touched other and looked at calendar walled in touchpad . It penetrated in his eyes.

Two years of struggling in Bollywood! Trying to touch success !  Nothing is happening in  life . Waiting! Waiting!! Waiting !!!. Life is a bullshit shit by MEGABULL named GOD.

He in thought-boring mood took two Selfis and watched them. Selfis always made him fresh . They were mood-changer .

The Selfi-freshness began in his teenage lifestyle  when his new she-friend bharti   told him that he looks like Robert Cornwallis. He thought it is the name of British Governor Lord Cornwallis who introduced new system but after some acquaintanceship Bharti told him that she mispronounced it to hide clue and real name was Robert Cornelius . He asked and begged for hint but she mischievously hide all related clues.  Robert Cornelius , the name haunted him like a ghost . He searched and  came to know that he was a photographer who pioneered a kind of photograph '' SELFIE'' . After that he took keen interest in selfie and started to take his selfies. A Selfi became a photographic self expression which clicked and caught contemporary dance of emotional mind-bodies and current aesthetics of thought flow in brain which gave voluminous egoboostering satisfaction to his self-centered lifestyle.  Bharti and Sudhnwa both enjoyed each other's Selfis on FACEBOOK which culminated into love. It was the romance between selfies , sexual exploration between selfies and seeing end of each other's Selfies .

Crack came when Bharti felt that Sudhnwa is  paying  more attention to selfies than Bharti. Sudhnwa ignored her feeling and continued to click selfies which disgusted more and one fine morning she kicked  Sudhnwa's fleshal ass  out from her life. In this pain Sudhnwa clicked more selfies with title  ' AFTEREFFECTS OF LOVEBREAK' . Those selfies gave him tremendous popularity in Delhi and he became SELFIE-MADE hero in his Law college.

He established new group named '' SELFIELOVERS'' on facebook which received tremendous response of 3000 self-photographers .  For J N U intellectual like Bharti all so-called self-photographers in the group and their selfies are nothing but lust-orientation  towards likes and positive comments . Sudhnwa ignored her criticism and gathered 3000 self-photographers more in aur dikhao aur dikhao style .

When he came in Mumbai in 2013 he realized that Selfie is the fashionable buzz in the metro-musical  atmosphere in this Cosmo-city . Some members of his group in Mumbai managed a decent flat in Lokhandwala Andheri for him without rent and Sudhnwa felt more gratitude towards SELFIE. Otherwise who gave residence in Mumbai free of cost ? Through this group he came in contact with Raja Tilve who became his Guru in field of acting.

In Jan 2015 Bharti realized her mistake and admired Sudhnwa as prophetic visionary who sensed importance of Selfi and formed official group . She tried to patch up with Sudhnwa and send their group-selfies . In return Sudhnwa send her HIS SELFIE WITH UNGLI . After that he never looked back to her and celebrated his UNGLI TO LOVER in more selfies which got tremendous following on FACEBOOK.

And now he was in his ANDHERI flat.

These two new Selfis changed his mood. They awoke him from sleep.  He suddenly recollected that he has given time to Raja Tilve Sir. He rushed toward  bathroom. Took bath. Called Tilve Sir.

 “Sir Sudhnwa here! I will be 10 minute late sir! ok sir”

He off the phone

 “Bastard whenever I procrastinate he caught it. What should I do ? Whistle Sudhnwa Whistle !”

He whistled to release his tension. Watched Selfis . Selfing and Whistling were his methods of relaxation.

SCENE NO .5

''MOTILAL NAGAR ONE LENA BHAIYYA ! '' Sudhnwa asked rikshawala in careless medium thick tone . Rikshawala mould  wheels to Motilal Nagar . As usual this time also reluctance sprang up like mushrooms in his mind. He always felt those mushrooms in brain while entering Motilal Nagar . He always thought that Motilal Nagar (M N  ) is most backward area of Mumbai after Dharavi because of rotten smell of open garbage not collected by B M C.  Marathi people resides in this area & they have preserved their Marathi culture which is unbearable to Non-Marathi people. M N stood against elite Oshivara area occupied by rich or higher middle class . Lokhandwala in Oshivara Area near link road was the hub of Bollywood situated in Andheri - Jogeshwari connection. A smell of lower class existence of M N  was seriously challenging the perfume of Cosmo Politian culture of LOKHANDWALA and like all true LOKHANDWALLIYAN it snoozed  Sudhnwa Sharma also . Mumbai was taken by national builders in  their possession and their multi-floored constructions were everywhere . M N  is the only area in which they failed terribly . Builders came with money, tried their best to convince local M N people and returned  to their offices  with unaccepted cheques.

Sudhnwa entered at the ACHYUT BARWE road . The hatred spread in his breath. He felt it.

You have to discard it Sudhnwa !God knows when Tilve Sir is going to realize the 'C' grade ship of this area.

Many times he had advised sir to leave this Mhada type cottage house but unfortunately Tilve never listened. For Tilve Motilal Nagar was the best place for meditation. He has closed all windows to create darkness in whole house and literary transformed his residence in NAGPANTHIY GUHA. He avoided friends and friends also didn't come here except some spiritual seekers who were allowed. He slogans

'' COFFY HOUSE FOR FREINDS , FACEBOOK FOR  ACQUAINTANCES AND HOUSE FOR MEDITATION''

Sudhnwa just hated it.

' Bhaiya RIGHT lena Papad galli'

Rikshawala turned right. Now he was in galli of Raja Tilve.

Raja Tilve was not Marathi by birth but yet a poet who was born , brought up  in Marathi culture . He used to write in Marathi. His ancestors migrated from Tulu area of Karnataka , first to Goa and then to Maharashtra. His original surname was Nayak but changed by Marathi People first into TULU then TULAV and FINALLY INTO TILVE. He was die-hard fan of Marathi culture but yet  consistently criticizing it. He was both . INSIDER AS WELL AS OUTSIDER !   His love and hate relationship with Marathi culture always confused Sudhnwa. He didn’t understand what to do with it. Sudhnwa was himself pandit from Delhi who practiced law for 3 years in Delhi Supreme Court and then due to Bollywood bug in ass  migrated to Mumbai. He was struggling as an Actor & like typical Bollywood struggler who strives for chosen film and always ends in landing in  an unwanted job he also landed in  direction for Discovery Channel Show. Till date he had directed 150 episodes. The anxiety was troubling him as he wanted fame as an actor & getting only mouth to end money which was only enough for survival. Unconsciously he was blaming Tilve for his trouble. Sudhnwa knew that  it is wrong to blame Tilve but yet he was blaming him for his misery. Tilve was not ready for compromise and consistently declining the compro-girls which he was bringing and  throwing the comproproducers and their offers in the dustbin introduced by Sudhnwa . Sudhnwa was a practical guy who wanted to get success by hook and crook and here is the guy who is consistently criticizing Sudhnwa's desperate eagerness for success. Tilve used to say, ' Sudhnwa , there is lot of difference between desperateness and passion. Passion is good and healthy. Whatever you do for passion is without calculation and expectation. You do it for your passion. In desperateness you do things for results and if you don't get expected result you become frustrated.  Be passionate for acting but don't be desperate for it. Otherwise in the end you will land in becoming of acting-machine. ''

Philosophy is good but what if you don't get result out of it. You can't purchase home in Mumbai by passion.

Sudhnwa thought in rickshawrun .  He  always recognized the house by unused A C . He saw that  A C and asked rikshawala to stop the wheels . Rickshaw stopped at cottage no 205 / 1640 . He paid 30 rs .

In these two years Sudhnwa has realized that in Mumbai it’s impossible to make your career with ancient ethics. Unfortunately Tilve was only guy whom he can trust 100%. He tried without Tilve but the guys with whom he was interacting got the girls and just run away with them without giving any chance to Sudhnwa.  Sudhnwa realized that it is always safe to work with honest man than to so called established clever person who  only uses new guys to bring new girls for their new projects.

Sudhnwa climbed the iron staircase and entered on the first floor of the house of Tilve .  Before pressing the button of doorbell he clicked another Selfi using sky-blue background of wall . It freshed him.  He pressed the doorbell . Tilve's assistant opened the door . Tilve was not alone. He was discussing Marathi spiritual  literature with his friends. As usual the tiny room in airtel red  and cream color was fully occupied with  books , an ancient rotten grayish  abstract designed sunmyka table , two dell laptops and three Samsung mobiles probably gifted by devotees and six yellow plastic chairs purchased by Tilve himself . Tilve being SHAIV SANNYASI owed nothing and almost everything he possessed came to him  in form of gifts. Sudhnwa was always surprised by his lifestyle because it was full of contradictions. On one level  his house was always full of many things and sometimes with luxuries which only rich people could afford and on other level he very rarely  consumed them. He always sit in broken yellow plastic chair and all stylish SUNRISE chairs were reserved for guests. A C given by a Guajarati Industrialist was there but Tilve never consumed it for himself and his bedroom was without A C . The bed was torn and bedcover given by his friend's mother named Mangesh Bansod was  used by him for emotional reason though it was torn from every side. Gifted high class clothes were never used by him and all refined accessories were mostly used by guests. If somebody asked question about it an answer came in awkward tone,'' I am Shaiv Sanyasi and I must live my life without any addiction to luxury.''

Sudhnwa entered and said hello to everybody. All were looking at him as if he is an alien  landed from Mars . Tilve introduced him to all his friends.

“Friends , Sudhnwa Sharma! An actor and lawyer also ! And Sudhnwa Mr. Gautama Sarvate. He is doing Ph D on nativism in Colombia University. Kumar Shinde Publisher of my books & journalist working  in Marathi MAGAZINE Lok Pradnya . Sajjan ! He is working as a professor of organic chemistry  in south Indian welfare society college. Narendra ! Parambhakt of Swami Samarth”

Sudhnwa shook the right hand with everybody.

“Have  a sit Sudhnwa” Tilve ordered him in rough politeness . Sudhnwa sat in unoccupied SUNRISE chair .

“We are discussing the philosophy of nativism and its relation with spiritualism ”

Sudhnwa never reacted. He didn’t know ABCD of nativism. Probably Tilve knew it very well. For half an hour they were discussing nativism in Marathi in presence of Sudhnwa without bothering his presence.

 “Probably this is what nativism  means ! Ignoring guest hosting discussion as if host is ghost” Sudhnwa thought.

Last two years Tilve was asking him to learn Marathi and  Sudhnwa instead of learning it nurturing little bit hatred towards Marathi without knowing reasons.  After sometime his patience resigned the control.

 “Will you please discuss it in Hindi ? ”  Sudhnwa asked.

 “Why?” Narendra asked him with some anger. “You north Indians never try to learn Marathi and always ask Marathi people to discuss issues in Hindi. Instead of it why don’t you learn Marathi? Are you new comer or what?” 

Sudhnwa felt embarrassment for a moment. Tilve realized it .

“Narendra , he has just entered into Mumbai . Give him some time ”.

 “Tilve, why didn’t he shut up his mouth then ? Why he is asking to discuss the issue in Hindi in his language? Four Marathi people are discussing the issue in their own mother land and here is a fellow from north India who has courage to ask us to talk into Hindi . Is it courage or shamelessness or MAJ ? Where from it comes? Ask him to say only two things in Marathi . I guarantee you he will never learn Marathi in his whole lifetime ”. 

“How can you conclude?” Tilve asked.

“Because this guy is not interested in listening Marathi . That is why he is proposing us to talk in Hindi”

The silence spread. Nobody wanted to debate. For Sudhnwa Narendra was fanatic Marathi guy and for Narendra Sudhnwa was stubborn imperial POSTERBOY  who is only interested in spreading  Hindi language in Maharashtra. Sajjan being professor in organic chemistry felt uncomfortable and suddenly a thin guy entered into the room without knocking door.

“Abhijit! what a surprise! ” Tilve exclaimed and stood up in his welcome . They hugged each other. Tilve brought new chair for Abhijit. Abhijit sat.

“Tilve ,  I have come with proposal. There is a mountaineering group named Maratha Survivors . They are arranging a mountaineering camp on 21^st of  this month for SHIVALAYA IN HIMALAYA . If you guys  are interested then please tell me” Abhijit Surywanshi was damn excited .

''Are you sure ? You know na Aurangabad incident ?'' Tilve asked . Abhijit jumped in flashback for a moment .

SCENE NO .6

It was 1999 . Raja Tilve and Abhijit Surywanshi both came to Aurangabad to attain the symposium on Marathi poetry. All  editors of  new little magazines were invited. Marathi poets and poetry has tradition of 2200 years from Gathasaptshati to  little magazines. Naturally Marathi poetry is consistently modernizing itself. Tilve went Aurangabad to attend the symposium on  poetry but unfortunately nativism was in the air and whole nativistic movement took the possession of whole symposium. Tilve has launched the movement of Chouthi navta  and rebelled against nativism and post modernism. He thought that Marathi poet would welcome new movement but instead of it surprisingly almost every poet was under the influence of post 60 generation which was quite frustrating. Tilve didn’t participate whole heartedly. Naturally he was bored and his unsatisfied ego was searching something adventurous as a remedy on frustration. When all poets decided to take breakfast he became quite happy. Abhijit and Tilve unintentionally came together after downing from a car and started walking together. Both started  expressing their frustration to each other.  They decided to take walk around hotel. Sublime green beauty was around the hotel because it was surrounded by green hills. The wind was flowing with balanced force and greenness was everywhere. The Hotel was  looking  like a yellow brown dwarf and poets were entering in the hotel like Sind bad . Nobody liked alienation of Tilve and Abhijit. When both reached at the end of hotel area they found that they were on the top of world. The large valley was screaming in front of  them and hailing ''Come down! Come down!'' Tilve accepted the challenge and decided to go down. He invited to other poets by waiving his hand  but nobody showed any interest in his invitation. Only Abhijit said yes. They started going down and Tilve realized that he has entered into quite dangerous zone. The valley had at least 1000 feet depth which meant if you miss the step death would catch your body. Abhijit probably realized it and  said , “Tilve sorry I can’t do it”. He went on back foot and left Tilve alone for downing. Tilve laughed. He decided to descend alone. Cliffs were enough hard and deep for support and by putting his finger into them Tilve descended down. After some time he realized that he has almost reached at cave. Some steps were needed but surprisingly there was only one outstone and jump was necessary to reach the cave. It was quiet dangerous step. Missing meant death. And suddenly it happened within fraction of second. He just blinked and took the jump from left to right. Swinging was correct.  Now he was near the cave . Within 3 steps he reached the cave. He realized that a villager was standing there and waiting for him.

 “Namaskar” A villager said. Tilve replied with Namaskar.
He asked, “Are you new comer?”. Tilve nodded. “O that’s why”.
Tilve asked, “Why? ”.
“That risky jump was not at all necessary. Just look at your right side”
Tilve looked at his right side of body. He saw the small tiny climbpath. He laughed. The villager also laughed. Probably he was shepherd.

 “Where from?” 
“Bombay”
“I don’t feel so! Mumbaikar couldn’t jump like that! Where from? Original?” the villager asked.
Tilve replied , “From Kolhapur”
“O that’s why! that’s why! My guess was correct. No Mumbaikar could jump like that. But Kolhapurkar yes. Kolhapuri people can do anything”
Tilve asked, “Why you are here?”
The villager took pause and said, “This is Machhindranath's cave . Our Baba does Tapscharya here. I am waiting for him. Probably he has gone to take his bath”
Tilve looked at the cave. The cave has typical nathsampradayi touch. Deep down darkness but light at entrance. It was stone made and brown and grey were the main colors. Zadipatti was there and shrubs were sprouting from stone.

The villager asked, “Have you come to see the Baba?”
Tilve replied, “I am myself  The Shaiv sanyasi in common man’s attire”

 The villager was shocked. He said, “Then you should wear saffron outfits. Sanyasi should be sanyasi” The villager's traditional tone was vibrant and alive. He was representing real nativism.

 Tilve asked him, “Why?”
“It is tradition you know.”
“Traditional doesn’t mean true. Many Indian traditions  are bullshit traditions. Sannyas is in your heart not in your cloth. Sannyas means the body is doing Tapscharya to end its lust”
“But you should wear saffron cloth. How can Sansari man recognize Sanyasi?” the villager asked genuinely.    
“In Jain 'Digambers' don’t wear any cloths. Are not they sanyasi? All these things are social things. Sannyas means dissocializing . Forget it !I have to go” Tilve ended the conversation.
“See you”
“See you”
Tilve took his own path but this time he avoided the jump and followed the tiny smooth climbpath. Then he climbed upwardly. Abhijit was waiting for him.
“What a fuck man! You are just 24 years old and fear to take risk.”
Abhijit neither answered and never reacted . Just laughed.

SCENE NO . 7

''Where are you Abhijit ?'' Tilve asked

Abhijit came out of flashback.
“Little bit in Aurangabad . ''

'' Sorry Abhijit! I know after that incident you have done many adventures. But this  is Himalayan Adventure . Once we enter we can’t shrug away from IT”

'' Don’t worry I will be there and believe me this time it will be lifechange experience . Think about it.  I know Tilve is interested in Shivalaya and this is lifetime opportunity . I hope all of you won't want to miss it. Please , join me guys . I also want company of intellectuals in this adventure'' Abhijit was full of excitement  and his excitement touched everybody.

They used to discuss HIMALAYAN MOUNTAINEERING frequently but it never happened and here is an opportunity knocking on the door.

“I am definitely interested! Already bored by exam” Prof. Sajjan said.

“I have never seen Himalaya. I am interested” Kumar showed keen interest.

“I am also fatigued by American lifestyle and want something Indian . Himalaya is a South Asian Asset .So I am interested” Gautama  nodded .

“It’s good to see that everybody is interested . Narendra , what about you?” Tilve Asked.

“You know Tilve I was in Himalaya for 7 years.”

“I know Narendra but now situation is different. Age is catching us”

“Age is not catching me mitra . I am coming”  Narendra said.

Tilve looked at Sudhnwa. Sudhnwa was little bit confused . Tilve explained, “Sudhnwa we are going for mountaineering. An invitation has come for us ''

Suddenly he asked Sudhnwa .''Why don’t you join us Sudhnwa ? ”

Sudhnwa paused for a while , thought little bit and exclaimed ,''OK! ''

'' But there is a condition ………………………………………'' Sudhnwa paused with perfect timing like an actor.

“What condition man? ” Narendra asked impatiently. Now the anger was replaced by resentment.

Sudhnwa smiled and said, “As you are coming in my north Indian belt you have to speak in my language.  I mean Hindi language”

“As per my knowledge Himalaya speaks in Sanskrit or Nepali or Tibetan” Gautama said mischievously.

 “No! Recently the Himalaya also has  changed his language under the influence of Bollywood” Sudhnwa replied.

“Ok ! Then Sudhnwa you must host it” Narendra suggested.

“ Narendra-ji , we  Delhiets  have big heart.  We welcome everybody .No problem! I will host it.”

“Then it’s ok !Everybody is coming! Let’s plan” Tilve cheered up like a child and everybody began to suggest his suggestion .The so called Marathi Hindi debate was over and Narendra as an experienced  man who had lived in Himalaya for seven years and Sudhnwa as a host started  planning together  as if they were friends for many years. 

SCENE NO . 8

The beginning was dull .  Everybody was somehow depressed as at the last moment Abhijit and Kumar got catch in professional assignments and never joined them. So in finality they were 5 men army i. e  Tilve, Sudhnwa, Naren , Sajjan and Rahul instead of seven . It was first day of adventure and everybody felt guilty about Abhijit's absence because it was an idea of Abhijit to attend this adventure . Slowly on airport after some time they accepted his absence and overcame it by adjusting their brains as it was not their fault . Kumar was famous for cancellation of plans so his absence was expected.

The air-journey from MUMBAI to KATHMANDU was a cake walk .  Weather was fine and mood was musical.

When they reached Kathmandu  Sudhnwa welcomed them with grand reception. As he promised his Delhiets friends hosted show very well in HOTEL KANCHANGANGA . The  grand welcome created long overflow of enthusiasm and passion in every body. Everybody was ready to conquer Mount  Shivalaya.

When they  just reached on the verge of fine tuning the confusion and chaos entered . It was last minute change . Maratha Warriors asked them to choose one mountain  . Everybody in Five Man Army has to choose one Mountain between MOUNT EVEREST AND MOUNT SHIVALAYA . Mount Everest was an additional choice and quiet attractive because they were getting it in the same SHIVALAYA price. MOUNT EVEREST OR SHIVALAYA ?

SCENE NO . 9

Like all INDIANS everybody in 5 men army knew about MOUNT EVEREST or KANCHANGANGA OR MAKALU  but nobody knew  MOUNT SHIVALAYA except Tilve .  Reasons were obvious . For common people there was self-imposed ban.  The myth prevailed in  India , Nepal , Tibet (For MARATHA WARRIORS it's still an  independent country annexed by EMPIRE OF CHINA ) says that whoever enters in SHIVALAY dies on it. So common people fear to enter  it. For mountaineers SHIVALAYA  wasn't challenge for mountaineering and Anybody Can Dance Type . Naturally  there was neither  fame nor respect  in its climbing . So climbers also don't bother about it.

For Tilve  MOUNT EVEREST was sign of colonial mentality which is preserved in all biosignouniversal facts . For example it was known to all NEPALESE AND TIBETIANS from ancient time as SAGARMATA THE GODDESS OF SKY(FOR NEPALESE) / JOMOLUNGMA GODDESS , MOTHER OF THE WORLD(FOR TIBETESE) and not discovered. Both countries were named it in feminine gender . In British Period in 1852  Bengali man named RADHANATH SIKHADAR discovered it as ''THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN IN THE WORLD'' and not MR GEORGE EVEREST who was just a surveyor general in whose memory it was named.  Contrary to it SHIVALAYA saved its name from British Colonialism. It was famous in tantrics who did their sadhna rigorously and generally nobody disturbed them. Tilve heard  name of SHIVALAYA as place of sadhna in his childhood from his MATERNAL GRANDFATHER who was SHAIVI and who trained Tilve as SHAIVACHARYA  . Being SHAIVACHARYA Tilve always dreamed to climb it .

So when Maratha Warriors asked them to choose one mountain , choice was obvious and crystal-clear for Tilve , Rahul , Naren and Sajjan . Only Sudhnwa got confused which brought confusion in gang .

 Initially Sudhnwa showed no interest in SHIVALAYA'S climbing but realizing that TILVE SIR would be alone he decided to join him. Narendra and Sajjan tried to pursue Sudhnwa for EVEREST as they knew Tilve for years . They felt that Tilve being sanyasi didn't require any company and its Sudhnwa's ignorance that he is choosing  to accompany Tilve Sir. In reality Sudhnwa knew very well that Everest is risky and his limited experience in climbing wasn't enough for Mt. Everest. But instead of straight talk he was giving dimension of GURUBHAKTI . In reality he didn't want to show his weakness because being an actor showing weakness wasn't professionally affordable . After long debate Tilve and Sudhnwa went for SHIVNATH and Rahul , Naren and Sajjan chose EVEREST OVER SHIVALAYA and left Kathmandu for it .

The land-journey from KATHMANDU to SHIVNATH broke their bones but visuals of SHIVNATH fleshed them. Everest was safe game because it was supported by Khumbu region and Namche bazaar  but Shivnath was an insecure play with different ball. In Kumbhu almost all Sherpas are Buddhist but in Shivnath almost all are Shaivas . So Shivnath was much more bhaktiloaded and sometime more illogical in approach . No doubt  it was typical Nepalese kasba with lot of vitality and for kasbewalas mountaineering was one of major sources of income but it has same sushegat approach prevailed in Goa . Generally first timers in climbing always come here and it's always easy to charge higher fees or rent  as they were inexperienced and newcomers in this field . 

Kalamukh Shetty was chief adventure consultant for SHIVALAYA EXPEDITION . He recognized Tilve immediately. '' Your grandfather was Guru of my grandfather. We always discuss name of your grandfather and his predictions about our family. Almost all of them came true. Glad to meet you.'' He said with affection . Tilve many times meet followers of his grandfather in Maharashtra , Goa and Karnataka and many times it irritated him. This time it was feel good experience. He hugged Kalmukh.

  SUDHAKAR CHOWAN , SHIVA PATIL AND RAJIV JOSHI were other members of Maratha Warriors .  Tilve and Sudhnwa joined them . SHERPA KAILASH was guide as well as team leader of the expedition. He was friend of Sudhakar Chowan which made everything smooth in initial stages.

SCENE NO . 10

First darshan on center was related with artificial caves structured on basis of HIMALAYAN CAVES. Everybody was surprised by it. Kalamukh noticed it. We all stopped at the gate. Kalamukh came forward and said, '' I am seeing surprise in your eyes. Don't worry . These caves are our houses. They are inspired by cave-lifestyle . You may have read about it . Cave life is lifestyle of Himalayan sadhaks  who were first mountaineer . We can safely say that BHAGWAN SHIV was the first mountaineer and MATA PARVATI who followed him in search of him was second one. Shiva developed the first technique to live on high places using minimum oxygen. Remember his enlightenment was on mountain which we now call KAILASH. All sadhaks, seers and rishis of India are following him for last 7000 years and doing their TAPASCHARYA. We have copied those caves here and I hope it will give you proper spiritual feel .The temperature in this caves is quite even which creates natural cooling and heat of summer never penetrates inside the cave. It provides warmth in winter. So you may feel SEERS AND RISHIS are doing Tapscharya around you . Please don't interrupt anybody's  beautiful meditation .  We have avoided your so-called modern civilization and digital penetration here. Feel the solitude of life here and then we will march.''

Tilve was happy and Sudhnwa also was feeling spiritual kind of energy inside body.

' Tilve Sir , are there caves in reality or it's gossiping ?'

'Sudhnwa , Vasishtha Guhas situated near Rishikesh are famous . Bamrugha is another famous example . So cave isn't gossiping. '

' Why don't you do Tapscharya in caves?'

' They didn't suit me. ''

' That is why you have transformed your house in caves ?'

' Yea ! Place is not important. The end of mind matters. Do mountaineering as meditation ' Tilve concluded .

Mountaineering begins.

SCENE NO . 11

Sherpa Kailash was ahead of all and reached far away from Tilve and Sudhnwa who were climbing in one line . They have almost at 4000 feet.

Suddenly Sudhnwa stopped at the Shivalaya cave.   He was warned to ignore it by Kalamukh Shetty but yet he stopped at it. He realized the existence of somebody human. He stopped and looked carefully . The visual was obscure and half-fainted  . The brown skinned half nude body was in Padmasan. Sudhnwa  became quite astonished. In his entire life he has never seen such type of cave and sanyasi together . He exclaimed,'' Oh fuck ! Tilve Sir I think your brother is here”. Tilve reached near Sudhnwa. He also got zapped by the visuals. Suddenly he felt that the HARDWARE AND BOTTLED OXYGEN  might not  support sufficiently if they waste time in stopping at cave and they might fall in scarcity in future.

 “Sudhnwa hurry up” he said, '' Let's not waste time here ”

 Ignoring  futurological fear  in the voice of Tilve Sudhnwa  decided to jump in the cave.

 SCENE NO . 12

The cave was silent . It seemed Sanyasi just didn’t  bother about so called mountaineering and mountaineers . He was as he was.

Sudhnwa jumped inside way and Tilve followed him.

 Sudhnwa yelled, ''Sir , I have seen such type of scene only in Bollywood films ''

Tilve laughed.

Bollywood kida always bites!

Sudhnwa reached near to THE BODY.

 ''Can I test him ? ” Sudhnwa asked.

“Sudhnwa don’t do anything funky. Somebody is seriously doing Tapscharya and we don’t have any moral right  to disturb him”

Unfortunately Sudhnwa never listened  & clapped. Sanyasi never took cognizance of his clapping.

Tilve yelled once again, “Sudhnwa don’t do it”

Sudhnwa ignored it. He opened the tool box and picked up his mobile.  He started operation by touch. Surprisingly on Shivalaya also NETWORK  was providing efficient service. He began to take the pics of sanyasi. Sanyasi was just not in his body. Suddenly something  vicious flashed in Sudhnwa's mind . He picked the right hand of sanyasi and started to click the pics as if sanyasi was taking his own Selfis. Feeling uncomfortable while watching this Selfi-scenario Tilve came near sanyasi to prevent Sudhanshu .

''What the hell you are doing Sudhnwa? Stop this nonsense. You are violating ethical rules”

Sudhnwa laughed like a bear.

“What ethical rules Sir ? Everything must be MAYA for him. I don't think he will bother it. KYUN BABAJI ? ANY AITRAJ? Look Sir , BABA doesn't have any AITRAJ. Sir,  I am doing nothing .Baba is himself taking Selfi . I am just a mediator. This will be story . We can sell it to DISCOVERY”

Sudhnwa once again laughed . Tilve yelled, “It’s wrong Sudhnwa . You can’t do anything like it without permission”

“Sir it is guerilla shooting  & you know we Bollywood people always do it.”

Sudhnwa again clicked 4 Selfis more . He was enjoying  guerilla shooting of Selfis & suddenly something happened. For some seconds the whole earth triggered avalanche and Sudhnwa & Tilve were literally thrown out of cave. The bolt of fear stroked them . Both bodies were going down. Both lost their consciousness. Both bodies were going down without knowing that they are going down.

SCENE NO . 13

 When they  awaked they were surrounded by Indian army. Tilve realized that something bigger has happened. Soldiers were discussing aftereffects of earthquake and after ten minute listening  of their conversation Tilve realized that it is about earthquake in Nepal and North India .

 An earthquake had killed 10 to 11 thousand people and they were very few who were escaped from death . It had triggered  an avalanche on Mount Everest and Mount Shivalaya . What happened to others ? Are they alive or ? He crippled with thought of death.

I have to make an enquiry .

He tried to speak but the whole body was iced. Fortunately he can smoke his voice .Soldier noticed his movement. He came near to him and asked, “Do you want water sir”

 Tilve nodded. Soldier put some water from his own water bag in his mouth drop by drop.

'' What about my freinds?''

“Don’t worry sir everybody in your team is alive. It is really surprising that all of you are saved. There is a headline about your group in Newspaper as LUCKY MASCOT WHO ESCAPED DEATH Another group on expeditions lost three lives Don't worry ”

Tilve felt some kind of relaxation in his heart. He tried to move his body but failed . He was on stature which indicated that time has been passed after calamity.

Sudhanshu must be around . But where ? He is alive and that's good.

After 12 hours all members in their group were hospitalized in Kathmandu camp hospital . Here they came to know that an INDIAN ARMY sent helicopter for them by launching special rescue operation and soldiers were surprised because in such situation they were expecting bodies with overcold dead organs and surprisingly they found  bodies that were never damaged. Amputations never happened and it was understood as medical miracle .

They were happy about their survival and  sadness was pouring everywhere around their survival . The camp of joy has turned into the camp of sorrow and pain.  Tilve started making an enquiry about others and after 3 days he came to know that Narendra , Sajjan and Gautam never got an admission in an Everest expedition and so called offer '' Everest in  fees of  Shivalaya '' was bogus and fraud. Nepalese authority told them that immature mountaineers like them were never allowed on Everest and whole offer is scam. They were waiting for us in Hotel Kanchanganga but unfortunately earthquake compelled them to leave the hotel and they were waiting for us in near village NERITHA. It's blessing in disguise and now they were thanking God for Asian scams  which prevented their entry. Almost 13 members in this Everest expedition were killed and they were not part of the tragedy because of scam.

SCENE NO . 14

After 13 days of treatment they all were in bus . Nobody was talking.

Suddenly Narendra ask the question, “Who saved us?”

Sudhnwa answered jokingly , “Selfi Baba”

“Who is the Selfi Baba ? ” Narendra asked with curiosity.

Sudhnwa narrated the whole episode. Everybody was quite surprised. Being devotee Narendra blamed Sudhnwa for the whole earthquake. “It must be Baba’s curse ! You  hurt natural course of his sadhna Sudhnwa and in return Nature answered in form of Earthquake”

“ Don't talk nonsense like typical HINDU. I don’t think Selfi Baba has cursed me . Rather contradictory to it I think Selfi Baba has blessed us and we are alive without any amputation because of blessing of Selfi-baba .”

“Forget it Sudhnwa I also don’t believe curse or blessing. But what you did was ethically wrong.” Tilve yelled.

Everybody kept mouth shut up. The expedition  has turned into fiasco and nobody was happy with the situation. The three governments have banned all kind of mountaineering for some months so they all were returning to Mumbai & nobody was bothering about it. Returning was safe and compulsory .

SCENE NO . 15

“I sent you to Mumbai for Bollywood not for mountaineering. Bhagwan ka shukra hai ki kucch nahi hua.” Sudhnwa’s father Vishnu shouted at  Sudhnwa.

 “Why you are shouting on  my son?” Sudhnwa’s mother Sudha defended her son by questioning  Vishnu.

 “Your shameless son has never said sorry once to me for collecting money from my friends to entertain his so-called Maharashtrian Friends ” Vishnu said angrily.

Sudhnwa realized that his father will never change his young angry mood . Sudha asked Sudhnwa to say sorry with gesture.

 “Sorry dad. It was perfect plan and I think , that is why I am here, warna Allah ko pyara ho jata.”

 ''Why Allah ? Why not Bhagwan? ” Vishnu asked.

“Dad , Bollywood is secular industry.  For us both mean same”

Suddenly Sudhnwa remembered the Selfi Baba . He rushed towards his mobile. Nothing is destroyed  & all pics were saved .

 It is amazing. How it happened, Kahi aisa to  nahi Selfi Baba such-much powerful hai ?

Suddenly he remembered that Narendra requested to send all pics of Selfi Baba to Narendra. He thought for a while.

 Why should I send all pics ? These pics are mine . I have taken risk . So all pics  belong to me. I am the owner of Baba’s Selfis .  I am the creator of Baba’s Selfis.  But Narendra is friend yaar. You should sent at least one pic to him, honoring his request.

Sudhnwa touched the keyboard  titled the pic '' SELFI-BABA '' and sent it to Narendra.

“Selfi Baba - Good title Sudhnwa”

Sudhnwa thought about title and laughed. The cloud of his laughter spread everywhere.

SCENE NO . 16

Narendra was in completely distressed mood.  Nothing positive happened in his life. He was hoping something good from HIMALAYA EXPEDITION but HIMALAYA did nothing.  It happened second time in his life.

Himalaya is quite unlucky for me ! second failure ! what the hell is happening in my life?

First he took sannyas but got nothing in Himalaya. After abandonment of sannyas Narendra returned to Bombay Then he married but his wife died in accident. Now he was living with his son and mother-in-law. Mother-in-law was literally monster in law. Narendra was living in her house and she didn’t like it. After death of her daughter all emotional attachment with son-in-law was over.

When  her daughter came with Narendra in her house she felt uneasy though she herself insisted that her daughter should marry someone who will come to live in their house as there is no male in the house . But when it happened she didn’t like Gharjawai phenomenon . She accepted it because she had no choice as her daughter loved Narendra  like anything. She didn't like Narendra . He wasn't a family man . A man who took Sannyas isn't made for sansar . Her vision was clear about her daughter's choice . She opposed Narendra but failed. Her daughter was adamant and  she gave up argument against daughter after some days quarreling.  And one day her daughter came with Narendra into her house by doing register marriage which was quite shock for her.  After birth of granddaughter everything changed.  Sara was quite an  entertainment and great relief. She accepted the relationship and enjoyed the roll of NANI. Unfortunately   Pune Mumbai track took her daughter's toll through sliding. Fortunately Sara was with Narendra so both were saved. Her daughter died  and she was on wheelchair. 

Distorted sannyas,  wheel chaired mother in law, memories of dead wife and stubborn daughter have created hell in Narendra's life. He was unwanted guest here and yet he was hosting everybody. So when he received pic of Baba he was not in mood. He picked up the mobile , saw the mms .

Only one pic! typical Sudhnwa! We Delhiets have big heart'' “Fuck!” Ask for all pic and here bastard sent only one pic.

 He did Namaskar to Baba and entered into washroom. After taking bath he felt freshness of water on skin. The ringtone sound cracked his ears. He came out of bathroom . Picked up the mobile. His assistant Raghav was on caller's end, “Sir, good news! We got contract of BBT.”
“What?”
“Yea sir”
“At last we got something. I am coming”
Narendra off the phone.

How it happened ?  

Suddenly he remembered the pic sent by Sudhnwa.

Oh Selfi Baba! It must be KARISHMA of Selfi Baba. Jai Selfi baba!

 He opened up the phone,  touched the icon of mms and did Namaskar to Selfi Baba.

What should I do ? Let me send it to Sajjan.  He forwarded the mms to Sajjan.

SCENE NO . 17

Sajjan was not happy man  but yet he used to search satisfaction in his life. He was striving for research in organic chemistry but yet not getting any break in India. He had married to a homely girl who unfortunately never doing any house work. She was addicted to TV and always busy on her mobile talking with her parents. Most bore thing is she talks same topic day after day . He was diehard foodie and not getting proper food in his own house. Tilve used to advice him to marry with another professor but at that time he felt that it is safe to marry homely girl than any professor and here is a homely girl who is doing nothing in his home. Her education up to 12^th slandered stopped her growth and couldn’t understand the intelligence of her husband. She has given birth to female child and now simulating her ditto to herself. Now Sajjan was facing dumbo simulation which was quite depressing . Whenever he came to home he faced the same scene.  A wife, a daughter and a TV.  So when mms of SELFIBABA arrived in his mobile he was watching same scene. He opened up the mobile,  touched the mms icon opened up the inbox and watched mms. It was Selfi of Sanyasi titled  Selfi Baba. He touched the feet of Baba and suddenly his daughter yelled, “Mummy off the TV . I want to  study”

SCENE NO . No. 18

When mobile rang Sudhnwa was doing nothing . His parents went to temple . He has shut down the television . He was on the wards of internetting. While the pressing the button of his laptop mobile rang. He pick up the mobile touch the screen and icon of massages. And then touch the inbox there was the mms form Narendra. Sudhnwa opened it up and amused . Narendra has resent him the mms of Selfi Baba. He called Narendra and asked the reason. Narendra narrated him the whole episode and express his gratitude. After 10  minute Sajjan did same thing. After these two incidents Sudhnwa thought for a  while. He also touched the feet of Selfi Baba.

SCENE NO . 19

While entering in Motilal Nagar Sudhnwa was in  good mood. Suddenly everything  was fresh and alive . He suddenly realized that all roads in Motilal Nagar are far better than lokhandwala road.

This gala system is good yaar. Everybody has got 750   ft area. Tilve is right. It is not about atmosphere it’s about mind.

He knocked the door of Tilve’s house. Tilve opened the door.

 ''Congratulation Sudhnwa ! At last you got it. ''

 Sudhnwa touched his fit & said, “It’s your and Selfi Baba’s blessing”. Tilve laughed.  Sudhnwa suddenly realized that all chairs are occupied and Sajjan and Narendra are there. Both congratulated him . Sudhnwa said thanks in return. Tilve sat in the chair.

He said, “Selfi Baba! what a discovery! I am surprised . All of you are educated people and yet believing this digital myth.''

 Tilve was quite frustrating about the situation but he couldn't stop it. Sajjan Narendra and Sudhnwa all were his friends.

 “And I am going viral” Said Sudhnwa.

 “What ?” Tilve exclaimed! “Don’t do it Sudhnwa there are lots of Babas in India . Don’t add another one”
“Hell with your logic sir. I am seeing the market in it and if it clicks we will earn in millions and please note that what  we are telling is the truth nobody is lieing here.” Sudhnwa opposed Tilve with little bit resentment.

“I am not with you Sudhnwa. I am myself Shaiv sanyasi. I don't want to support anything fake ” Tilve said.
“Then do your struggle. Last 25 years you’re  struggling . What's your achievement ? You are a complete failure. Neither enlightenment nor success” Sudhnwa attacked . Tilve didn't have any answer. Sudhnwa left the room. Narendra and Sajjan followed him.

SCENE NO . 20

The viral Selfi Baba was more interesting than real sanyasi. Sudhnwa did his job fantabulously . He had shot the self experience  narration of himself along with Sajjan and  Narendra. For every week new photo of Selfi Baba was arriving and  becoming  viral. Media was invited and Selfi Baba became viral everywhere. In the end of each video new crop of devotees narrated new incidents . One thing never changed . ''The Selfi Baba and photos of 4 devotees''. Sudhnwa, Narendra, Sajjan and most surprisingly Tilve. When Tilve protested Sudhnwa said, “Sir go to the court . I know you will never do it because you love all of us”. Tilve learned the art of ignoring people.

SCENE NO . 21

While entering in BBNJanmat all creators of Selfi Baba were tensed. Maheshwar Bagade an editor of BBN Janmat was hostel-mate of Tilve. Maheshwar was quite surprised by SELFIBABA  phenomenon.

Am I jealous ? everybody hates Tilve . Nobody knows why? Probably all friends assume that Tilve is a big threat . am I considering Tilve as big threat ? don’t know. Competition in friendship is the biggest achievement of capitalism.

 Surprisingly Tilve never came . He hugged Satish, Sudhnwa and Narendra .  Sudhnwa was little bit thrilled . Selfi Baba has made him famous.
Maheshwar asked, “Who is the pioneer?”
Sudhnwa, “I did it . I am the pioneer.” Sudhnwa said enthusiastically  . Sudhnwa narrated the whole episode . Maheshwar didn’t believe it. He said, “I am really  sorry Sudhnwa . I don’t believe it .Where is your Selfi Baba? Why don’t you bring him in public? Nobody knows fleshal  Selfi Baba”.

Narendra asked , “Have  anybody has Sai Baba in flesh ? We have only Sai baba's photo. Otherwise there is no proof that proves the existence of Sai Baba. If photograph of Sai Baba is Valid then why can’t be Selfi Baba’s pics become evidence of his existence ? We have only one photograph of Sai Baba and we have viraedl 60 pics of SELFIBABA .  I think we  always doubt  current faith but believe me Selfi Baba will also become world phenomenon. One day or another day it  is bound to happen. It is not our success it is Selfi Baba’s Mahima. He is blessing everybody through his photograph from Himalaya. Everybody is experiencing his blessing.

Maheshwar asked sarcastically, “Do you think he is current superstar of India bigger than Rajnikant?  ”.

Narendra said, “I don’t like that word ‘Superstar’. Selfi Baba is not superstar but sun of my life. His digital light is everywhere. Probably he is the first digital God of India.”

Maheshwar once again said sarcastically, “Yea and you people created it.”

Narendra said calmly, “No Maheshwar , we never created him, he created us. He transformed our life . He is the great transformer. Millions are following him. Nobody can prevent this phenomenon.”

Maheshwar said , “ I agree . He is spreading like diseases. Why there is photo of Tilve along with you? I know Tilve from my hostel days . We were hostel mates. Tilve is the biggest fraud . He is the no. 1 liar and he is the real creator of Selfi Baba . He constructed him very carefully and yet kept distance from him. You people are just doll who are dancing according to beats provided by Tilve. Tilve has already has another identity on internet named Swami Dayendra Nalini . His talk with so called disciples have been published by him. Selfi Baba is another Avatar of him”

Satish first time came forward. He said, “I am sorry Maheshwar . I am myself disciple of Tilve and he is consistently guiding me for 6 years. Swami Dayendra Nalini is not fake ID. It is just that Tilve doesn’t want any publicity out of spiritual talk. So he took that another name. In fact he opposes the concept of Selfi baba when Sudhnwa was taking the pics of Selfi baba. He was the one who questions ethics of Sudhnwa . I am not the believer but yes Selfi baba blessed me. Whatever I narrated in the video directed by Sudhnwa is my real life experience. We didn’t expect this kind of response. When we viral it he thought that at least 10 more people will be blessed and statistic of 10 was enough for us. We never thought about such global phenomenon. It happened automatically. So Don’t bring Tilve in this mess if it is mess because  I don’t think this is mess. Media is created the  mess out of it and neither Selfi baba nor Tilve are responsible for it . It just happened”

Maheshwar said, “I always trust you Satish . I believe your genuinity but, you are always Bhola person very simple. Actually quite surprised that you are involved in this phenomenon.”
Sudhnwa kept quite because he didn’t understand about it. First time he regretted and realized what Tilve was saying when Tilve used to ask him to learn Marathi. He has never seen Marathi environment before and here in Marathi channel everything is Marathi. Tilve used to say that Marathi is potential market of 10 cross people and if Sudhnwa , as an actor wanted 100 cross club then  he  must address Marathi people in marketing via Marathi language. From Akshay Kumar to Sunil Shetty everybody has got benefit from mastering spoken Marathi. Maheshwar was consistently asking question  as an anchor to Narendra and Satish . Reason was obvious channel was Marathi and Sudhnwa didn’t know Marathi.  Maheshwar couldn’t take risk by asking question in Hindi .  After all his salary depends on TRP  and T R P  depends on Marathi people. He understood  an anxiety of Sudhnwa but he knew that  marathiness of channel is not at all responsible for Sudhnwa’s anxiety.

Maheshwar became alert in the end. The time was ending and he has to wind up the show properly. He asked Sudhnwa in English, “Mr. Sudhnwa ,  when will WE see Selfi baba in flesh? If he is real then he must appear in flesh. Digitality is good but only Digitality is worst”

Sudhnwa got confused. He said, “I don’t think he will come in flesh”

Maheshwar exclaimed, “There it is! SELFIBABA DOESN’T APPEAR IN FLESH BECAUSE SELFIBABA DOESN’T EXIST. And friends , here is the end of show. Thanks SUDHNWA, SATISH AND NARENDRA for coming here. SHUBHRATR!”
Maheshwar gave them proper send off.

He looked at Satish and said , “Satish you are my friend . That's why I am giving this advise . Keep yourself away from this fraud . For Tilve nothing makes difference . he can enjoy the jail but you’re a professor . You can’t afford it. Mark my word, one day or other day somebody will file case against you and all of you will land up in jail .  Sudhnwa has to bring Selfi baba in flesh otherwise all of you could  be confirm under IPC section  420 . Think about it . You people have viral everything and it can go against you.”

Sudhnwa laughed and retarded  , '' Mr. Maheshwar , I respect you as an editor but let me tell you one thing . I am lawyer myself . Anybody can check the genuineness of our photograph . Our narration is  genuine and according to Indian  constitution we have every right to defend our faith . Nobody can challenge us.

Maheshwar smiled and said,  “ Mr. Sudhnwa ,  I also respect you as a lawyer but let me tell you one thing . It will get time to prove your point . Till that day you can be in custody . Now you have to decide  because you are playing with millions of people. So don’t take risk . I meet  everyday big-shot lawyers and hear stories of pending cases”

Sudhnwa stumbled for a moment and realized that he has to bring Selfi baba in flesh

SCENE NO .  22

Sudhnwa called meeting and everybody attended it. There episode on BBN Janmat has stolen the show . Maheshwar was happy with this development but Sudhnwa was uncomfortable. Everybody appeared in Tilve’s house.

Sudhnwa inaugurated the discussion.

 “Dear friends , We got highest T R P ON  Marathi channel which is good. Our friend Mr. Maheshwar advised us to bring Selfi baba in flesh and I think he is right. I am going  Himalaya to bring him in Mumbai with Tilve.  I think if we want to bring him here we have to create an artificial cave like SHIVNATH  for his residence otherwise he won’t stay here. For that matter we have to set up an independent Ashram. Narendra has agreed to organize to set up Ashram. Kaira has agreed to set up necessary fund. I know we never expected it but we have to do it to save our faces. I think nobody will prefer jail , so now it is after you”

Tilve got angry . He reacted suddenly, “Sudhnwa you have created this mess . You never asked my permission. Why should I come to Himalaya with you? It is not my mess . I am not interested in assisting you in your illegal activities. Do whatever you want to do. I  am not with you, sorry”

“It is absolutely ok sir . I am expected it. It was not your mess, it is my mess and I will clear it. Is anybody ready to support me?”
Avinash came forward . He said, “I will come with you.  I want to see Selfi baba alive. It’s god job HOLY KARMA  and I will do it for Selfi baba, Jai Selfi baba”

Another 5 man army came forward to support Sudhnwa . Tilve laughed at it.

 “This is India ! You can do anything about ANYTHING .”

SCENE NO . 23

Narendra designed the commercial according to suggestion received by parambhakts of Selfi baba . Fortunately Mr. Prakash Mehta an industrialist from Kolhapur was ready to donate his own land to set up the ashram and SHIVNATH TYPE CAVE . For him IT'S HOLY KARMA and he is doing it for holy cause.  It solved the major problem of land . DSK builders came forward for the construction of Ashram . For them also it was holy purpose. Narendra was surprised  by the response and attributed it to Selfi baba’s Mahima. 

SCENE NO .  24

Sudhnwa Avinash and their five man army was climbing towards Selfi baba’s cave for their mission. Mission Selfi baba in flesh. Surprisingly they were not meeting any hurdles like previous expedition . Everything was doing smooth and everybody was giving credit to Selfi baba.

SCENE NO . 25

He was on his Wyagharasan meditating alone. He didn’t know that he has become Selfi baba of India. Timelessness was climbing in his body and he doesn’t want to return IN time. Several people were climbing towards his body and his body was climbing toward infinity. When Sudhnwa reached with his army at his cave he was completely absorbed in himself . Sudhnwa once again started to take his Selfis.  His body never minds it. They put him in box. His body never mind it. They started descending from the SHIVALAYA cave . Himalaya with his whole whiteness was shining .

Seven human being were coming down , pulling and carrying the box in which Selfi baba was enclosed & his body didn’t know that it is a Selfi baba for whole India.

SCENE NO . 26

Sajjan and Narendra were waiting for Selfi  baba in jungle. They have wore saffron cloth with Rudraksh mala . Nobody was there.  Finally Sudhnwa and his team mates landed beneath the Himalaya with Selfi baba. They opened up the box.  Selfi baba was as he was. Sudhnwa was quite surprised . He exclaimed , “What a Yogi yaar ! Neither moving nor doing anything except breathing . For him we just don’t exist ”
Sudhnwa touched  his feet with faith . After him everybody did same. They kept him in BMW’s back  seat. Sajjan and Narendra also took the back sit of BMW. Sudhnwa took the front sit and Avinash became driver for this journey. They all changed the dress code and became saffron sanyasi. The whole BMW was transformed into religious car.
“Sudhnwa sir you are really genius . Now  nobody will stop our car” Avinash started BMW . Five members in Saffron  sat on top of the car. They started singing the bhajan . Kabir spread everywhere .  Religious process began. Everywhere they received grand welcome.  Finally the Selfi baba was in flesh. Surprisingly Selfi baba was as he was. He was timeless and his timelessness was cashed………… by Sudhnwa. Media was chasing BMW everywhere . They also realized that Selfi baba was not taking any food or water which was quite astonishing for them. He was breathing and his breath was in rhythm. Sudhnwa was happy because now he was the devotee of Selfi baba and care taker also. For public he was blessed by Selfi baba. He was consistently giving interviews in media. The only fear which was haunting to his brain was a question.

What if Selfi baba awaken .

Sudhnwa knew that anything can happen.  Selfi baba can file the case against him or declare him as religious fraud. He was preparing psychologically for the future . He tried his best to collect the money on private level  & deposited it in Swiss bank.

Another option IS also available Sudhnwa !  It was also possible that Selfi baba himself enjoy the religious status and say nothing. Who will run away from celebrity status ?  I will keep him in luxurious cave in Ashram and provide him 5 star facility. He will definitely enjoy his fame. Will he ? He can decline it  Sudhnwa . After all he is  sanyasi ! Selfi baba! Infinite possibilities !.

Selfi baba was unpredictable mathematics and Sudhnwa was playing mind game. When they arrived in ashram in Kolhapur he was received by 50,00 people.

Are Indian people religiously fanatic ? But this religious fanaticism is going to safe guard my material INTEREST!  Oh Indian people ! Jai Selfi baba! 

SCENE NO . 27
 

They opened   the door of BMW and took Selfi baba outside. They carried Selfi baba carefully up to his specially simulated cave . People were mad about Selfi baba . The whole ashram was designed as SHIVALAYA MOUNTAIN  and everybody was trying to touch his feet. Security isn't allowing it as per instructions given by Sudhnwa. Media persons were trying to shoot the arrival and giving breaking news. Headlines were projected.
“Finally the Selfi baba in flesh”
“The mystery man arrived . He didn't take food and water in his 15 days journey”
“Yogi or fraud ? Is he competitor  for Ramdeo Baba ? ”
“Sudhnwa brought Selfi baba on earth . Sajjan , Narendra and Sudhnwa travelled for 15 days”
“What is the real name of Selfi baba? Is unrevealed”

SCENE NO 28+ 29

Sudhnwa, Sajjan and Narendra put Selfi baba carefully on  special floor constructed for Selfi baba. People were crying and laughing around him. Suddenly somebody pushed Sudhnwa and Sudhnwa literally collapsed on  Selfi baba. The incident pushed the baba on the floor and his head is bang on the floor. Sajjan and Narendra tried their best to stop it but couldn’t stop banging. It was Jor ka dhakka but not dheere se lage . Banging of head awaked Selfi baba .  He looked around .

 Nor Himalaya , nor cave - only people.  Oh fuck ! Still people are there inside my brain

Slowly he realized that people around him are real and he is not in cave but in same kind of  cave .He restored  himself  in confusion.

 How I reached here?

Suddenly he realized that he is hungry and thirsty  . Sudhnwa was waiting for this movement. He gave a bottle of Bisleri . While giving bottle he murmured “The earthquake happened in Himalaya and Nepal. We brought you from Himalaya here . Just be calm  and quite . Everything will be fine” 

Selfi baba looked at Sudhnwa and then took the bottle and asked him, “Can I  have something like food ? ”

Sudhnwa answered, “Definitely baba , I am your first devotee ! Avinash bring the food”

Avinash rushed  towards kitchen. Selfi baba tried his best to recollect the memories . There was no earthquake for him.

How I reached here ? By meditation? Not possible !How ? Somebody might have done it.

 He felt something fishy in the whole process. Sudhnwa realized that something is happening inside the brain of Selfi baba . He took the mike in his hand.

“Dear friends , thanks for coming here .  Selfi baba needs rest . So we are closing the ashram for 10 hours. Please go to your home. I request media people to vacant the ashram. Security please tight your work”
Suddenly 21 security guards surrounded Selfi  baba . People were screaming while leaving , ‘Selfi baba ki Jai’ ‘Selfi baba ki Jai’ ‘Jai Jai Selfi baba’ ‘Jai Jai Selfi baba’

SCENE NO . 30

Maheshwar realized that this Selfi baba is going to become one of the greatest religious story in the history of India. Now he desperately wanted first live interview of Selfi baba for his channel. Sudhnwa, Sajjan and Narendra have cut off their mobile . His correspondence tried her best to talk to Sudhnwa but Sudhnwa never gave any response. Tilve was the only possibility for cracking of code.  He called Tilve, “Hello Shridhar Maheshwar here”
“I was expecting your call Maheshwar . After all it is great story”
“Are yaar apan dost aahot na. Then you should help ME . Why should outsider get first chance to interview Selfi baba. If possible please arrange an interview for BBN Janmat ”
“Maheshwar I don’t want to become a part in it. ”
“Tilve sudhar jaa How many days you are going to live like this? We are becoming oldie. Change yourself.”
“Like you ? ”
“I am what I am and I am successful”
“Yea and I am great failure. Man with the golden failure”
“You are Bhau Padhye of our generation yaar . One day or other day you will become famous. Please co-operate yaar”
“Ok I will try my best. I will meet Selfi baba and talk to him”
Maheshwar felt relax . He has this perfect skill to use people for his journalism.

SCENE NO .  31

Sudhnwa allowed Tilve to meet Selfi baba rather he was waiting for this moment. He knew from the beginning that one day or another day he would need Tilve to handle Selfi baba. He was the lawyer and didn’t have any spiritual back ground. Tilve was officially Shaivacharya and born and brought up in SHAIVA TRADITION OF SPIRITUALISM and official SHAIVACHARYA though he had abandoned it later like a true spiritualist. He was traditionally trained in Shaivism and perfect communicator to Selfi baba. Tilve entered into the simulated cave of Selfi baba. For him cave was an amusing example of Disney Culture sponsored by U S A . When he entered he saw that Selfi baba was quite restless. When Tilve entered SELFIBABA  was surprised.
“Sorry sir I am disturbing you”
“No no please come. Have a sit please ''

Tilve sit in front of him. For the moment nobody talked .

After a moment Selfi baba outburst “What is this? ”

Tilve narrated the whole story . Selfi baba was completely  out bold .

“I thought only earthquake was real and all other things are fake”
“Yea”
“Sudhnwa brought me here ? ”
“Yea”
“How could he do it?”
“He did it”
“It means people reached inside my brain without my permission”
“Yea It happened ”
“What’s your name?”
“Tilve ! I am Marathi writer from Nageshi Goa”
“Are you grandson of Vasudev Naik?”
“You know him?” Tilve asked .  He was quite surprised.
“Yea . I am Shridhar ! Kalamukh Sampraday. We both belong to same lineage . ”
“Glad to meet you. I am really sorry for the fiasco. I tried my best but Sudhnwa never listened . I am here to ask you for an  interview but now don’t want any commitment  from my side. Please take your decision”
“I need time. It is really amazing to ask for time. Timelessness and timeboundness ”
Tilve also felt  sad for him.
“I understand”

Tilve left the room . Selfi baba decided to meditate.

SCENE NO . 32

Slowly everything was  set . Selfi baba adjusted himself in simulated cave . First he thought to go into police and launch compliant against Sudhnwa but being sanyasi he realized  futility in it . Here nobody was disturbing him. Food and water is serve with perfect timing.

What is the difference between a real cave and simulated cave ? Nothing !For sanyasi both are same.  Diamond and rock!  For sanyasi both are same.

He asanised himself to meditate.

SCENENO . 33

Sudhnwa was carefully watching CCTV camera footage and interpreting each and every movement of Selfi baba. As estimated meeting between Tilve and Selfi baba worked in his favor . After the meeting Selfi baba asanised himself for meditation which was good for Sudhnwa.

Mediation means no complaint no  FIR. People are coming and going in Selfi baba’s room. GOOD!

SELFIBABA was never responding any bhakt . Sometime whenever he opened his eyes and saw the crowd he stumbled.

So many devotees ? What the hell this people doing in my life & what I am doing their life? Take them as meditation device which will end public and people in your brain. Probably BHAGWAN SHIVA has sent them to abolish people in your mind. Just don't mind them. Once they disappear from your mind they will not trouble you in physical form . MEDITATE!

When Tilve entered in his room he asked everybody to go outside.  Tilve sat in front of him. But this time curiosity is gone.

Tilve said, “It seems you are settled in your new routine”
“I don’t know. Peoples are useless in meditation & here peoples are visiting me. I am not talking to anybody but straightly they are interfering . Initially I was curious about it but then I realized that it is useless to think about it. After all it is their life and they have right to do anything about it .  ”
Tilve asked, “But What about you?”
Selfi baba answered “I don’t know .  Sometime I feel that my focus is shifting from me to public. I feel that I am unnecessarily thinking about them. When I was in cave people entered in my brain  and it bothers me lot. Now I feel that bothering is intensified because in reality people are bothering me. I took sannyas because I wanted to run always form public. And now here public is running in my mind. I have to operate on me.”
“It is perfectly ok please allow me to leave” Tilve concluded the conversation. Selfi baba watched his body going outside.

SCENE NO . 34 

The conversation between Tilve and Selfi baba was haunting Sudhnwa . He realized that Selfi baba is not enjoying crowd anymore. V I Ps were paying  money for Selfi baba’s Darshan & Selfi baba was not bothering. Ministers were striving for blessing of Selfi baba but Selfi baba was not giving  anything like blessing. He was not talking to anybody and his silence was creating frustration in V I P people. Selfi baba only talked to Tilve for twice & it was bothering Sudhnwa. Some people were openly saying that Tilve is real disciple and Sudhnwa is just the show runner . Fortunately Tilve was neither giving interview to anybody nor taking any interest in activities of ashram. To discuss this issues with his coordinator friend Arjun , Sudhnwa landed in Arjun's office . Arjun was the main model coordinator of show Crime India running on LIFE LIVE CHANNEL & initially helped Sudhnwa to launch fake women devotees through his agency. After official bored talk Sudhnwa came to the point.

''Arjun yaar sometime I fear ”.

 Arjun asked, “ For what ?”

Sudhnwa said, “Yaar I landed in this mess because I needed money for survival but now this mess has become global mess. Some time I  fear that the Selfi baba will bless someone and ………….”
“And what?” Arjun also became curious .
“If that blessing doesn’t come true …………………………. What will be the reaction of public? Right now Selfi baba is doing nothing. Everything is one sided . So Selfi baba is not responsible for anything but if Selfi baba start talking it will become two sided phenomenon. You know two sided phenomenon is always dangerous in religious business because it brings commitment and adultery also”
“Sudhnwa , you are doing prostitution ! Spiritual prostitution!  Why you have fear about adultery ? Don’t worry . Indians have long history of fake babas. I think his silence is good for you. Go and meet him”.
Sudhnwa thought for a while and nodded. For Arjun SELFIBABA was beneficial from both sides. Either Sudhnwa will produce film on SELFIBABA and he will get casting work as casting director or he will get another crime story for his crime show.

SCENE NO .35

When Sudhnwa landed in ashram he was welcomed by his staff. Officially everything was in his hand and staff knew it very well. When Sudhnwa entered in the CAVE  of Selfi baba everybody was surprised because it was happening first time. 

SCENE NO . 36

Selfi baba looked at Sudhnwa carefully. Sudhnwa touched Selfi baba's feet and stood in front of him like his devotee. Selfi baba never reacted.
“Baba I am Sudhnwa ! This is my setup”

Selfi baba smiled but never reacted.

“Millions of people are your devotees and one hour ago you completed  ten crore likes. You are receiving likes  from all over world. I have come to congratulate you” Sudhnwa said putting artificial excitement in his voice . He was expecting positive response. Selfi baba smiled but never reacted.

Sudhnwa got confused .

Saala what a man? Here he has got 10 crore likes almost equal to Amitabh Bachhan and this bastard never reacted. What should I do now? Should I ask spiritual advise? Now if I do it, it will be fake. Should I leave? This bastard doing nothing. What does he think about me? Greatest manipulator? Greatest businessman? or Useful idiot? Sudhnwa , be conscious ! These Yogis are dangerous species. They can read your mind without any conversation. It is SAFE to say good bye ”

Sudhnwa humbled down in front of him . Selfi baba smiled but never reacted.

Sudhnwa asked humility, “Baba can I leave ?”

Selfi baba smiled but never reacted.

Sudhnwa stood for one hour but Selfi baba was as he was. Sudhnwa realized that it is futile to ask permission and wait for an answer. He left the room without Selfi baba’s permission.

SCENE NO . 37

Sudhnwa came outside the Ashram. Sajjan was waiting for him. This time his  body was talking different body language. He looked more stubborn than his usual form.
“What’s problem Sajjan?” Sudhnwa asked.
In return Sajjan asked question , “Did baba talk to you?”
Sudhnwa replied, “No, what about you?”
Sajjan said with sad tone, “Sudhnwa except Tilve he is not talking to anybody. It means he is not happy in CAVE . I am resigning my post . I don’t want to support any kind of spiritual entertainment and imprisonment. I am feeling guilty . Something is going wrong” His innocent face with bad mood banged on Sudhnwa's brain.

I must console him.

Sudhanshu took dramatic turn with prophetic pose and said, “Sajjan,  Selfi baba will  definitely enjoy his followers. This is the fame-age. Everybody enjoys the fame. Baba will also enjoy. People wants something like Sai baba and here that something is happening in form of Selfi baba. We are creating history Sajjan. Whenever people talk about spiritualism and religion they will mention  the name of Selfi baba and who have created Selfi baba? We have created Selfi baba. Feel the history bloody we are making . I know you have spiritual inclination but the spiritual inclination  did nothing for you. But Selfi baba , he did everything for you. You were not recognized  in your GALLI but now Delhi also salutes you. Don’t you feel we are great Sajjan.” Sudhnwa’s voice ascended to sky.
“And what about truth?” Sajjan asked in plain voice.
“Let the truth go to donkey’s ass. Who bothers about truth? Fame is the truth, money is the truth, power is the truth. All other thing are useless in this country. The age of knowledge ends here. We all are actors and we together created the brand in spiritualism named 'Selfi baba'.  What a name Sajjan! ‘ SELFI-BABA ! SELFIE and BABA! BUNTY AND BUBBLY ! ’. SELFIE most adorable feminine and BABA the most respectful masculine. I married them together. Selfi is everywhere. Whatever we do is Selfi. Whatever we project is Selfi. OUR self is consistently creating Selfi, reproducing Selfi, promoting Selfi. We are born out of Selfi and we die in Selfi. Our birth is our first Selfi and our death is our last Selfi. We are traveling from Selfi to Selfi. It is Selfi journey my dear. It is Selfish journey. In my childhood my father used to say that- Selfish is the biggest fish. So we are producing and reproducing this fish. Selfi is the truth because Selfi is the best religion and religion is the truth. Selfi  is the biggest illusion and truth is the best illusion. Truth is the biggest entertainment created by human culture and we are promoting culture ! Sajjan we are promoting truth because we are promoting biggest entertainment. Religion is the self entertainment and today Selfi baba is the biggest entertainment. Larger than life smaller than boson. Have it . Enjoy it ”
Sajjan was astonished . He never expected such talk from Sudhnwa . Probably Sudhnwa has taken wine or something.
“What do you take?” Sajjan asked.
“Base”
“Why  you are taking drug?”
“I recently started it. It is the latest fashion in Bollywood. Cheap and solid.”

Sajjan thought for a moment.

“It would be dangerous to allow Sudhnwa driving the car”

Sajjan has always strong body built because of Yogasans . Tilve used to call it '' YOGASAN-BODY ''

He picked up the Sudhnwa and laid him on his shoulder. Sudhnwa supposed to attain the lecture of Selfi baba but ended as a listener of great lecturer on Selfi delivered by SUDHNWA .  By delivering his best performance in front of Sajjan Sudhnwa went in unconsciousness. Sajjan kept his drugged body in his car and came to driving wheel. Mumbai was waiting for them.

SCENE NO . 38

When Sajjan entered in his house the scenario was dull. It was typical middle class situation . His wife was watching M TV. TV was exhibiting RANVIR KAPUR'S AND MADHURI DIXIT'S '' tvpe breaking news hi mera ghagra ''.

She always looks more fatty while watching TV. I bring her as a house wife and she transformed herself as a TV wife who does nothing. All work is always done by my mother. Whenever mother goes  outside for Tirthyatra I  go outside for food & this shameless woman watches it. What kind of wife she is? She does nothing in house. She never does job. Just sits and watches TV. For her TV is the Selfi baba.
He looked at her daughter. As usual she was playing video game on her mobile. Tablet generation is born. He vehemently refused fulfillment of her demand for tablet but unfortunately her mother fulfilled her wish & after an arrival of tablet everything was changed. Suddenly he became villain for her daughter and his wife became lovable mother. An equation-change was horrible.

What  these kids think? Whoever supply and fulfill  their demand is the great parent? You were lovable and our relationship was also lovable but your demand for tablet cracked it suddenly. My dear daughter my fatherhood is not about consumption. It is about love but you will never understand in this age. Commercials are pouring in your little mind and your brain is conditioned by them. Alas! main tumhe samjha sakta .
Both of them never bothered about his entry. Sajjan went near to his daughter. She had finished her game and on verge of new game. She came back by touch to wallpaper and surprisingly did Namaskar . When Sajjan looked the face he was bowled out. Selfi baba was on her tablet. She touched Selfi baba’s feet available  on her tablet as wallpaper. After Namaskar she began new game. It was Bollywood game. First question appeared on screen,

 “What was Sunny Leone’s favorite organ in her recent Bollywood hit ?

Options appeared on screen

 A) Brown Breast

 B) Green Bump

C) Pink Lips

D) White Hands.

His daughter touch-typed 'Pink lips'. Tablet shouted , ''Correct Answer'' . Daughter said to herself ‘Jai Selfi baba’.  The situation was unbearable to Sajjan. He left her alone. Looked at second bed . His mother was in deep sleep.

All these three women made me alone. Father died in accident. Mother died in me . Wife died in television and recently my daughter died in tablet. Why the hell I am living here ? What am I ? ATM ? Is This  My Identity ?  ATM ! All Time Money supplier ?

His thirteen research papers were published in international magazine but nobody in house cared about them . For them his knowledge was good because it provided ninety thousand rupees per month. He unclothed himself , looked  at his underwear . It was rotten with bad smell. He drove off  and threw it in bathroom. He unpacked the new underwear. Its blue color was fresh.  Last 20 years he was using VIP underwear and blue was always his favorite color. He wore the underwear . New underwear made him fresh . He went to sleep with fresh legs . 

SCENE NO . 39

It was really coincidental that both Sudhnwa and Sajjan came to Tilve’s house at morning . When they looked each other they laughed. The whole PAPAD GALLI was looking at them. Once Upon a time all houses of papad galli were producing a homely papad for whole Bombay. But now everything is  changed.  Once Upon a time PAPAD GALLI was Marathi people’s poor  adda . But now everybody was parking 4 wheeler or 2 wheeler outside the house. They were workers yet they survived the globalization but yet Marathi tendency was working in their psyche. So when Sudhnwa park his BMW in front of Tilve’s house  everybody was looking at him. At same time Sajjan landed in  the PAPAD GALLI with MARUTI 100. They hugged each other. They pulled outside the koynda of Tilve’s house and reach the steps.

SCENE NO . 40

When Sajjan and Sudhnwa pressed the door bell Tilve was doing his meditation. They pressed twice the bell. This time the door bell knocked both ears of Tilve. He opened up the door and let Sudhnwa and Sajjan inside his house.

Tilve gently asked , ''What would you prefer Sudhnwa Tea or coffee ?.

Sudhnwa and Sajjan both realized that Tilve had given them an appointment at  same time intentionally.
“So you gave same time?” Sudhnwa ask sarcastically.
“Yea. Because questions were same ,  Tone were same ,  Subject was same , Problems were same and Selfi baba was common”

Sajjan and Sudhnwa gave shit look to each other.

“Tea or Coffee?” Shridhar once again gently asked.
“I will make it sir”
“Sajjan tea or coffee?” Sudhnwa asked Sajjan.
“If Tilve is making then it is tea But Sudhnwa if you are making then it should be coffee”
“I copy Tilve’s tea . I learned it  from him”
“Got it ? Then make it” 

Sudhnwa went inside the kitchen .Tilve and Sajjan took their own seats.
“So Sajjan uncomfortable?”
“Yea, Sudhnwa was always complicated person. But yesterday he was at the height of complexity. He delivered Speech. Good speech ! But his speech made me uncomfortable. I was there for resignation but his speech didn’t allow me to put things in order. He is taking base a new drug arrived in Bombay.” Sajjan said.
“I am not surprised Sajjan . It was bound to happen. Fake spiritualism always lands in drugs and wines and smoking ” Tilve became philosopher .

Sudhnwa entered with tray. Everybody picked own cup of tea . Sudhnwa also slided himself in plastic chair. Sudhnwa asked, “Are you complaining Sajjan? Look, drug is my personal problem . It gives me high and to absorb Selfi baba I need high. I am not a meditator like you. For me my drug is my meditation”
“Drugs makes you shameless Sudhnwa. To support addiction addict  always makes it personal. Khair Jaane de. It will waste only my time. So tell me ………………………………………”

'' It's my personnel. Got it? Sir I have come with something different ....''

Sudhnwa opened his suitcase ,picked the cheque from pocket and  gave it to Tilve.
“It is one crore sir . You can make the film out of it. It’s your share for providing service to me.”

Tilve laughed.

 “I was expecting this from you Sudhnwa but unfortunately you have chosen wrong person . Why you are giving it to me ? To validify your illegal and unethical ? Sorry I am not at all interested in fakology. Listen  me carefully . Dissolve everything .  Otherwise SELFIBABA  will put all of you in trouble”
“No sir ! Now I am much more powerful than any C M. Selfi baba has 10 crore likes. Police will think twice before any legal action and politicians  are asking me to fight an election on the behalf of their parties. In fact we all four can stand for an election”
“And what about Selfi baba?” Tilve asked.
“He is enjoying his fame” Sudhnwa said.
“You are lying Sudhnwa” Tilve screamed.
Sudhnwa realized that Tilve has become young angry man . He knew very well what to do in this situation.  He left the cup as it was and run away.

SCENE NO . 41

From Tilve's house Sudhnwa reached KOLHAPUR by flight . The ashram was sank in darkness of the night. Devotees were in deep sleep. The staff was waiting for break. Sudhnwa entered into the hall & orders his staff, “Pack up”. Staff knew the filmy word and meaning also. They exited from ashram except watchman. Sudhnwa entered into the Selfi baba’s cave. Selfi baba was doing his meditation. Sudhnwa looked at him

 Kash tum fake hote but unfortunately you are real and that is creating trouble for me. Why aren't you fake yaar? You are an international spiritual trend setting Guru with ten crore likes and here you are sitting like banyan tree without bothering anything.

SELFIBABA was he was ! Sudhnwa observed face of  Selfi baba . Nothing happened.

SCENE NO . 42

Day by day crowd-pull was raising its benchmark and day by day found that Selfi baba is unreachable. Sudhnwa was penetrating & found that Selfi baba was nonnegotiable . Lots of media was happening around Selfi baba & SELFIEBABA just didn't bother about it . It was disturbing situation .

For SELFIBABA  slowly slowly real people started to happen as an  insidious in his brain. On Himalaya psychological people  was disturbing him psychologically but here something different was happening. Now  he was fighting against psychological as well as physical people.

What the hell I am doing here ? Padmasan doesn’t mean meditation. Am I  pretending? What this people want to listen? . Buddhas came and gone but crowd remained as crowd . Nothing changed. People always searched solace . Some people are so weak that they don’t take responsibility on their own shoulder   .So they hand over their life to their so called guru. Their GURUS became burden loaders . Am I becoming burden loader ? Why should I become Guru? I am here for Nirvana. Not for Gurudom. Run away yaara. Crowd is always fake. Fakology is its greatest weapon .  With this weapon crowed  can kill anybody. Run away yaar run away otherwise crowd will kill you.

SCENE NO . No. 43

Sudhnwa was little bit confused . Whenever he got confused he reached to Tilve.  But this time he had been run away  himself from Tilve & now there was nobody with him with whom he could share his feeling. He sat in front of Selfi baba regularly but he was always in meditation. Under the influence of Tilve Sajjan was not picking up his phone. Narendra was busy in expansion of his business.

When Sudhnwa entered in ashram he was lonely and shattered. Emotional fragments of his loneliness were flowing and banging on his heart.

Is this my end?  Is this my destiny ? Everybody travels alone in his life but if travelling is of alone then what is the use of traveling? There must be travelers around you. There must be common destination. Selfi baba was our common destination. But unfortunately fellow travelers never recognized it .Bastards ! Hell with them ! Motherfuckers! Go ! Go into donkey's ass . I am the horse who can win jackpot. I am the horse who can win this rat race easily. You all are rats, you all are rotten.

He smelled the ratness of world. When he entered Selfi baba’s CAVE he was astonished because first time in Sudhnwa’s life Selfi baba was not in meditation. He had opened the door of window and watching the sky expressed trough stars in bluish darkness. Selfi baba heard the coming of Sudhnwa by sound of his feet  and turned to him. Sudhnwa touched his feet.
“Any problem sir?” Sudhnwa asked.
“I want to return to Himalaya. ''

First time Sudhnwa listened Baba’s voice. As expected voice was sweet but concrete. Sudhnwa assessed the situation and realized the worldliness of the situation.

 Is he asking my permission ?  He can leave ashram anytime. He can walk alone . After all he is sanyasi . Nobody will ask him any kind of ticket. His saffron costume allow free journey in each and every travelling corner of  India.  Then why he is asking? Does he want to travel by ticket ?

“I can arrange it but on one condition . You must deliver a lecture. Selfi baba has never deliver a single lecture  on spiritualism .  I think this is the RIGHT time for it. Please  give us last sermon and I will arrange everything”   Sudhnwa said & realized that he has talked nonsense .

 Selfi baba laughed and said , “Ok ! I will deliver it”

Sudhnwa was astonished by answer . He never expected it.

Oh ! You have started to enjoy disciples. Good! Once you deliver the lecture you will forget Himalaya. Blunder of Indian population is much more stronger than Himalaya’s wonder. Sudhnwa you won the battle . Now baba is yours.
The confusion and anxiety was gone . Sudhnwa suddenly felt power in his body house.

SCENE NO . 44

The ashram was over crowed . The media was fully equipped. After all it was first sermon of SELFIEBABA  for them.
Selfi baba felt discomfort for the moment & then he started.

“My brother and sisters , I am nobody. You created Selfi baba out of my body. Surprisingly when it happened my body was not real. It was digital stuff & it spread everywhere. My so called Selfi was not Selfi .  It was a photograph presented as Selfi. There is lot of difference between a Selfi  & a Photograph. Selfi is the self proclamation of body. It is self signature. It is self engine . But for whom? For others! For other's ! Why you need other’s ? Don’t you think it is contradictory ?  It is Selfi and it needs other. It is Selfi and it need other’s watch other's eyes other's appreciation . Why you need Selfi and why you need other?

Have you asked these questions to yourself ?  Questioning is important . Question yourself, question yours 'self'. Answer are not important . Answers may vary. You may not find answer but questioning must go like a show. Don’t search ATM. I mean answers told by machine like computers. I  mean ATM means answer told by mind. Chess QTM !  I mean Question Till Mind ends. That's all”

Sudhnwa was Zapped. He realizes that Selfi baba is not an ordinary man. His speech was bigger than his silence. Short , sweet but penetrating.

 I can’t afforded to loss him. No Sudhnwa don’t give up. He is like life time achievement award ! You must arrest him.

He suddenly rushed towards Selfi baba. Before crowd surrounded him Sudhnwa surrounded Selfi baba with ashram staff.  They all together  compelled him to walk into his CAVE . Sudhnwa locked the door of CAVE and asked security to tighten its belt  with rifles. Seeing rifles mob stopped.
Journalists were also  happy because they received  first sermon which they can release on their channels  with breaking news . Everybody was happy except Selfi baba.

SCENE NO . 45

When door got locked Selfi baba realized that something fishy had happed around him. He was himself surprised by his performance. He knew it was good but useless because words are always empty vessels. Suddenly he felt that everything is bullshit . He tried to open the door but the door had been locked. He waited for 2 hours.

After long waiting , door was opened and Sudhnwa entered.

Selfi baba asked Sudhnwa, “Where is my ticket?”

Sudhnwa laughed. Then he politely said ,
“I am really sorry baba but your devotees  need you. After your speech everything is changed. Millions of like are coming . Everybody is asking only one question .  When will be the second sermon ?  Now you CAN'T leave us baba, you can’t abandon your children . Don’t make us orphan. Don’t transform this ashram into orphanage. Please I beg you”

Suddenly Sudhnwa touched his feet in front of all devotees. Seeing Sudhnwa , all other devotees also did same thing. Selfi baba realized that he was imprisoned in crowd by crowd. He tried to escape but sensing his body language Sudhnwa stood up immediately in front of him. After Sudhnwa all devotees also stood up. Now Selfi baba had no space to escape.

Realizing it he asked Sudhnwa, “Where is Tilve?”

 Sudhnwa didn’t want any fuck up. So he said, “I will bring him . Just relax”

SCENE NO .No 46

“Please , please sir, please come in ashram and meet Selfi baba. After all we are team sir” Sudhnwa was literally begging in front of Tilve. Right now that was the only way to convince Tilve.

“Ok  I will come . But Sudhnwa remember one thing , I am not coming for you. I am coming for Selfi baba”

SCENE NO . 47

“So you want to escape? ”Tilve asked.
“I am not comfortable here”
“I am seeing it. Why don’t you request Sudhnwa?”
“He will never listen . Money has blinded him and fear has destroyed him. He is self centered guy who has turned into Selfimonster. I want your help.” Selfi baba said . An uneasiness in voice was raised . Tilve also felt the sadness of situation.

He asked Selfi baba, “What’s your plan?”

Selfi baba answered, “I have decided to run away from him. And for that matter I wanted your help”
“Unfortunately your devotees are everywhere. They will catch you” Tilve warned him.
“ I didn't create them . He created them ''

'' True ! Your guerilla style fake selfie created  them . Right now they are there .  You had an option to stop it on first day but you never did it ''

'' What should I do? ” First time helplessness entered in Selfi baba’s voice.
“Let me handle it” said Tilve.

SCENE NO . 49

Tilve entered in hospital of doctor Abhijit Kale. He was Tilve’s friend and waiting for Tilve. Tilve narrated whole thing in one hour. Abhijit was speechless.
“Are you sure you want to do it?” Abhijit asked for confirmation.
“Yea.”
“Where is Selfi baba’s confirmation? We need it.”
“He will give it when he will reach in hospital”
Tilve opened the bag and put the cash in front of Abhijit.
“One crore in cash. Take whatever you want”
“25 lacks are enough for me and my hospital. Keep remaining amount as your commission from hospital”
“I don’t need it and you know I don't take this kind of money”
“What kind of man  you are Mr. Tilve ? Saint & sinner ? Whenever there is an opportunity to earn the money you declined it. Motilal Nagar me ho aur Motilal nagar me hi maroge. Us  ghatiya jagah pe tumhe kya milta hai pata nahi. PAPI kahu to tu commission leta nahi aur SAINT kahu to tere aise aade tedhe kam. Keep that money and purchase the home in Mumbai”
“I am sanyasi Abhijit . I don’t need home”
“Fuck your sannyas . Holy bullshit ! You are not sanyasi vinyasi. Selfi baba is the real sanyasi” Abhijit said with frustration. He was one of the best friend of Tilve who wanted to see the settlement of Tilve in Mumbai. Unfortunately Tilve never responded it. Tilve has his web of doctors who were well wishers of him. They called him unreliable cloud in the sky. Many times they hide their  money in his house and in need get it as it is. Some political leader also does the same thing. Tilve has never broken the trust but surprisingly never charged any money for his service. Whenever somebody in way ask , ''why?''  he gives typical answer, “For saint Diamond and coal are same. Currency paper and writing paper  are same. You keep and you take away. Why should I interfere? It’s your fault not mine” They are used to this answer and nobody compliant about it. They put juice in his fridge or some currency notes in his pant without giving him any notice & many times pay the rent to his owner of home. In return Tilve provided many services to them without charging any money. It is kind of barter system and both parties were happy in it . If somebody asked , Tilve says in same tone, “It is your choice . Neither my home nor my pant belongs to me” Abhijit was part of this way because he enjoys the spiritual talks of Tilve. Tilve writes poems but nobody read it. For them Tilve was confused saint & it is futile to understand him. Once again same thing was happening here. Abhijit accepted the challenge given by Tilve & offered 75 lacks to him as commission. Tilve looked at Abhijit and asked him, “Are you sure 25 lacks are enough?”
“100% ! Take that remaining amount as your commission & please do purchase the home”
“Ok . I will return it to Sudhnwa” Tilve put back the cash in bag and left the hospital. Abhijit who used to sudden demises of Tilve never bothered about it. 

                                                                                                                               

SCENE NO . 50

Tilve was discussing about cash with Selfi baba and Sudhnwa was watching it on Screen. Suddenly something like attack happened to Selfi baba . Tilve called the ambulance. Sudhnwa reached in Selfi baba’s CAVE .
“What happened?”  he asked Tilve.
“Probably heart attack” Tilve replied.
“What should I do sir?” asked Sudhanshu.
“Your money has given him heart attack  Sudhnwa. He said you have cheated him and manipulated his spiritual image. Police can interfere in this matter Sudhnwa. So just keep your mouth shut up  .  I will handle it carefully. Keep media away from ashram , keep police away from you. Don’t make noise or voice” Tilve concluded and picked up the body of Selfi baba and put it on his shoulder. He walked away. Sudhnwa watched it speechless.

SCENE NO . 51

Abhijit was very excited while operating. He was changing the world famous spiritual face of Selfi baba. By doing it he was entering in the history of spiritualism. He changed triangular Aryan nose into mangolide nose. He intentionally made the lips much more bigger. He felt sad about eyes. Nobody can change them. He put much more flesh on chick. Selfi baba’s face was completely rapped in bandages after operation.

SCENE NO . 52

When Maheshwar received call from Tilve  he was quite surprised . After some time Tilve landed in channel's studio. Maheshwar welcomed him into STUDIO . Maheshwar suggested , “I think we should make it live.”
“Ok. No problem”
“Are you sure it is breaking news?” Maheshwar once again asked Tilve.
“It is about disappearance of Selfi baba” Tilve answered.
“It  is breaking news. Let us cover it. Sudhir ,  manage cameras”
The whole staff of BBN Janmat consolidated in news room. Maheshwar himself gave the breaking news.

''Now here is the breaking news of the day. Here the BBN Janmat the Marathi channel is giving it first time for its viewers . Selfi baba has disappeared. Probably one of his closed associate Mr. Tilve is with us. Mr. Tilve is it an official announcement from your side?”
“Yes Maheshwar! It is an official announcement. Selfi baba has disappeared .  Here I am giving his massage downloaded in CD specially given  to BBN Janmat” 

Tilve handed over  the CD to technical staff . They run it.
“ My brothers and sisters , every beginning has its own end. I appeared without my permission and I am living without your permission. I am not sorry about it because sorry means attachment and I am not attached to  anything including you. Enlightenment is more important than social recognition. Fame is the disease more dangerous than AIDS . Everybody is eager to get killed by it. I am not for it. I don’t believe luck so no best of luck. I am handed over this massage through Mr. Tilve because I don’t want to meet you in any form. Truth is formless”

SCENE NO . 53

Abhijit put off the all bandages and surgery-material from the face of Selfi baba. Everything was removed . When the new face appeared Selfi baba was no more Selfi baba.
“Do you want mirror?”Abhijit asked.
“No! Face doesn’t matter for me” the new face answered.
“What’s your real name?”Abhijit questioned.
“Name doesn’t matter for me” the new face replied.
Abhijit realized that it is useless to talk to new face.

This man is gold but unfortunately nobody can make ornaments out of it.

He left the room and his staff followed him. Tilve stood in front of new face.

''Can I use your mobile Mr.  Tilve ? '' New face asked permission in soft voice.

'' Oh sure ! ''

New face picked up Tilve’s mobile from his pocket and clicked the Selfi.
“Mr. Tilve , This is my gift for you. My first and  last official Selfi with my permission” the new face returned the mobile.
“And Mr. Tilve our journey ends here”

Accepting it as his last wish  Tilve left the room. The new face banged on his back and melted into the air.

SCENE NO .  54

When Shridhar entered into the ashram it was over crowded.
“Selfi baba ki jai ho”
“Selfi baba ki jai ho”

 Slogans were touching the sky. Tilve looked at the public.

What a size! What a waste! The biggest creature crippling in its own imagination. For it disappearance of Selfi baba is miracle. Believe it O fools of faith .
Tilve entered in Sudhnwa’s room.

SCENE NO . 55

Sudhnwa was expecting Tilve. He was watching him on CCTV footage. Sudhnwa touched the feet of Tilve. Tilve blessed him with Ashirwad “Yashswi Bhav”
“Thank u sirji .  You handled it with grand success” Tilve handed over the bag to Sudhnwa. Sudhnwa was quite surprised “Keep it sir it’s your”
“No Sudhnwa use it to set up school. I have used 25 lacks”
“Where is Selfi baba?”
“He is no more”
“Did you kill him?” Sudhnwa asked.
“He is no more and that’s all for you. Just believe the miracle of his disappearance as people outside this room right now are believing  it”
Sudhnwa realized that Tilve would no more interested in talking about Selfi baba. He put the money in hidden locker. He came near to Mr. Tilve , took actor's pause and said,
“Sir I knew from the beginning that heart attack was fake . Everything was drama but I kept my mum because I knew that you had planned to release him from this jail . I never opposed it because I  also wanted it. His fleshal existence was no more useful for me and I knew that only you can become my weapon to make him disappeared. So in the end everybody is happy. I am happy because the real Selfi baba is no more here to trouble me. Public is happy because public always wanted miracle and Selfi baba has delivered it for them. Media is happy  because they got proper breaking news in the end  & you my guru is happy because he thinks that he has made proper spiritual choice and executed it . So all is well”

SCENE NO . 56

Tilve came out of ashram. Tilve surpassed the crowd. Tilve jumped out of media and  caught the rickshaw. He touched the Selfi of unknown face and said to him , “The man who has gone is real and the man who is here in public with his unlimited Selfies in unlimited mobile coverage is Maya. People want to live in Maya . What can we do Selfi baba? Good bye Selfi baba ”

Tilve deleted the first and last official Selfi given by the unknown face.